It is easy and quite normal for humans to shift focus from ourselves to others especially when it pertains to accountability. It is in our nature to be protective and succumb to self-preservation and so it goes with every living species. Our protectiveness does not just entail life-threatening situations but the line goes as far as the emotional realm.
No one is faulted for this however, after all, we all have a need to be justified and validated. There is another side to this double-edged sword, however, and that is growth. When we rebuke correction, our growth is stunted. Often we default the solution baton being passed to God. While that is acceptable and God desires it, going one step further into self-realization encourages growth.
What I mean by this is that when it comes to forgiveness, it is easy to simply say "I forgive." Forgiveness doesn't stop there. True forgiveness seeks forgetfulness. God forgives and forgets because He is the almighty one whose love is immeasurable, unlike ours. But when growth happens, so does love. When you make the paradigm shift and focus on yourself, rather than waiting for the wrongdoer to do so, you not only progress spiritually, but you also urge the change in the forgiven. The wrongdoer has his or her own accountability to God. We need to remove ourselves from God's responsibility to cast judgement on that person. When the baggage is not released, the forgiveness is like water washed away in the stream. Holding on to resentment from that wrong done does not equate to forgiveness at all. It will eventually fester inside of us and will manifest itself in every aspect of our daily relationships with others. This is why the enabling saying goes, "Be kind to others, you don't know what they're going through" points to. Again, human nature ensues.
To truly forgive is to forget. This is what God has been teaching us about Himself. When we are truly a reflection of God, we have to learn how to do this and perfect it. Start with a clean slate. What a blessing it would be if the guilty party could see the love and kindness coming from the wronged which could eventually change the guilty. But that is not for us to patrol this change, because at the end of our time, we are only accountable for ourselves. This is never an easy task, but with growth, baby steps are taken. When that happens, our lives and hearts become wholesome and pleasing to God.
Until my next rant.... LOVE ONE ANOTHER!