I must admit, even after God's forgiveness of my sins, I still question whether I was truly forgiven. My human understanding of God bars me from accepting the true forgiveness of the deep love of God for me. Perhaps it is also part of my own forgiveness, or lack thereof, to others whom I have said to have "forgiven." I apply the same lame concept to that of God. In assessment of such situation, I only minimize the great love of God for us. It also further minimizes the sacrifice of His only Son and the death of Jesus on the cross which is an insult to both in and of itself.
But how do we truly accept forgiveness? Well, there are several ways to do so. For one, we need to make a paradigm shift in our minds about the process of forgiveness. We need to understand that we are fallible people. The key is to understand that absolute moral perfection will only be attained in heaven. The Bible reminds us that "as a father has compassion on his children, so the Lord has compassion on those who fear Him; for He knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust" (Psalm 103:13-14). The scum of sin covers us. We have no control over it. We were born with it, the original sin. God understands that about us. But just like our bodies get sick, we are not in perfect health all the time. But the body has its way of fighting infection or healing wounds. The self-repair itself is a sign of life and health. In the same key, our awareness to sin and our willingness to repent is proof that our spirituality is alive and well.
Jesus Himself went through despair just like we do . It is imperative for us to understand that we are forgiven because our awareness of God's absolution of our sins will become the catalyst to resist temptation when faced with opportunities to sin. The more we resist, the stronger we become in fighting it. Slowly, we will grow in our relationship with God. The greater the relationship with Him, the more blessings come our way, and the closer we become Christ-like. We can trust that God will use each of our failures to bring us new growth, with His grace and acceptance supporting us.
When do you find it most difficult to accept God's forgiveness? In your journal, what would you say to another person who does not feel forgiven? When you finish, read the letter aloud to yourself.
Until my next rant... LOVE ONE ANOTHER!