BITTERNESS

The seed of bitterness is hurt.  The soil that sows it is a heart that harbors hostility or that hurt.

The other day I realized that as a child, I was physically abused by my parents, especially my father.  It didn't occur to me until then that he had a quick hand to dole out those belt beatings, slaps and verbal abuse.  All my life I had shoved it in the deepest part of my soul but it was very much the wrong thing to do.  

A seed when planted deeply thrives and grows deep roots and a sturdy stalk that is not easily blown away by wind or natural disturbances.  Deep rooted plants suck the life out of the nutrients around it.  Gravity helps the water sink deeply to it and nurtures it to help its strength.

Because I shoved it away and tried to forget, I was able to cope with life.  I was able to hide behind the hurt but in reality, most of my life I would let people naturally hurt me, whether it was physically, mentally or emotionally.  I was drawn to people who aim to promote pain and then I wonder why my life didn't progress.  Those things are all forgiven.  I have moved on.

It was the love of God that pushed me through the hurt.  All along God was there, whether I consciously summoned his guidance and peace or not, He would always be the little voice that steered me to the right path.  It is because of Him that I was able to forgive.  Well, maybe it wasn't as direct as I hoped because I was drawn to self-help books and seminars.  But the end result was still to Him.  

So here I am still standing.  And that little voice that was God in the past is now a booming voice in my heart and in my soul.  His voice is now and then heard when big decisions need to be made, not so much as guiding anymore because I am focused in His way.  When confusion sets in, He is there.  Thank God for a loving God, a confidante, a true father in every sense.  Someone who whacked that enormous stalk with a  machete and pulled it straight out of the ground.  

Bitterness is the devil's voice whispering in your ear to lash out at others because of the hurt you have experienced.  Seek God now and get past it.  move on and let it go!

Until my next rant... LOVE ONE ANOTHER!